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Pissed!
Just Add Punk:
Oh, my lovely little alties, how my heart lights up with glee every time I hear you tout the music of your generation, whichever age group that is. Because from my ageist vantage point, most of what passes for new music is mostly the same chords 'n' beats 'n' hooks, only revved up a bit, because the manufacturers of '90s Muzik happened to make records after punk rock existed, as opposed to their hippie/greaser/mod forefathers and mothers. So I figure that all youse young 'uns might appreciate where your fave-rave sounds actually came from, with a mathematical twist. For example:
Neil Young + punk rock = J. Mascis
Simple, eh?
How about these babies:
Joe Walsh + punk rock = the Flaming Lips
Tommy Tutone + punk rock = Gin Blossoms
Styx + punk rock = Smashing Pumpkins
Pat Benatar + punk rock = Alanis Morrisette
Peter Frampton + punk rock = Bush
Mott the Hoople + punk rock = the Clash + punk rock = Stiff Little Fingers + punk rock = Discharge - punk rock + the Specials = Rancid
The Doobie Brothers + George Clinton + punk rock = Red Hot Chili Peppers
Steve Harley and Cockney Rebel + punk rock = Oasis
Led Zep + Busby Berkeley + punk rock = Jane's Addiction
Queen + Depeche Mode + punk rock = Nine Inch Nails
Johnny Cash + punk rock = Social Distortion
Jim Morrison + Vincent Price + punk rock = Nick Cave
(Black Sabbath + Black Flag) - punk rock = the Melvins
Yes + Frank Zappa + punk rock = Primus
Maureen Tucker + punk rock = Kim Deal
Wavy Gravy + punk rock = Jello Biafra
George Wallace + Father Coughlin + Orville Faubus + punk rock =
Pat Buchanan
Captain Beefheart - Richard Hell (+) punk rock = all bad college
radio bands that eschew melody and rhythm.
And the list goes ever on...
This page was designed and created by the Boulevards team.
By Johnny Angel
Sorry, kids, there ain't nuthin' new under the sun
or in the air when it comes to rock & roll music
(which means that, conversely, J. Mascis - punk = Neil Young).
From the March 21-27, 1996 issue of Metro Santa Cruz
Copyright © 1996 Metro Publishing and Virtual Valley, Inc.