The results shows on American Idol have a tradition of drawing out five minutes of TV time into an hour-long episode. Last night was different, however, so kudos to the producers. The show was actually entertaining. It was also a chance to learn more about James Durbin.
The episode began with the customary contestants’ tribute to the theme, which happened to be Motown. While that is all very typical, Stevie Wonder appearing on stage as an unannounced guest was not. He sang two songs, “Signed, Sealed, Delivered” and “Happy Birthday,” a tribute to judge Steven Tyler, who turns 63 on Saturday. Bet you didn’t know he was that old!
Three contestants safe. Boring, though one of the contestants was the Howdy Doody look-alike Scott McCreery. Last night we learned that McCreery, an avid baseball fan, also has a pretty mean game at basketball.
It was time for a little vignette at the mansion to show that McCreery wasn’t the only singing jock. The other one was, wouldn’t you know it, our very own James Durbin. Okay, so his sport isn’t baseball or basketball. It’s not even football or naked beach volleyball. His sport of choice is pro wrestling, and we had a chance to see him practice his moves on contestant Paul McDonald. He flipped him. He flapped him. He hit him in the head with a baking pan, in the tradition of the Undercooker. I was riveted. If only he would have knocked out McDonald’s front teeth, which are annoyingly, blindingly white.
Now back to the stage. Durin and McDonald were standing with Ryan, waiting to see which of them was voted off. It seemed pretty obvious to me that McDonald was on his way home. But nooooo. All Ryan could say was that the two of them were in trouble. Big trouble. Whopping big trouble. Could Durbin’s dream be coming to a close?
The curtains opened and out stepped another unannounced guest, Hulk Hogan. Durbin dropped to his knees in worshipful admiration. His idol was on Idol. “You’re both safe,” he announced, and he proceeded to throw Seacrest off the stage. The crowd went wild, but it remains unclear whether it was because of James, because of Hulk, or because Seacrest finally got his due.
So James Durbin was safe last night, and that means he will be performing with the Idol gang during their summer tour. Rumor has it that the salary for the gig is a tidy $100,000, which isn’t too bad for a summer job for James.
But money isn’t everything. After dealing with Seacrest, Hogan ripped off his T-shirt, which was later given as a gift to James. Cost of a nationwide concert tour: $100,000. Cost of a piece of Hulk Hogan’s ripped underwear: priceless.
In the end, Casey Abrams got voted off, but he was saved by the judges. Instead of 10 people on this year’s Idol tour, there will be 11. And the world is a better place for that.
