“Dude, the new Whitesnake kicks ass. It seriously kicks ass, bro.”
“Sir, I know what a train is. Please stop.”
“I smoke outside. I don’t care about my lungs but I don’t want to ruin my records.”
“Dude, the new Whitesnake kicks ass. It seriously kicks ass, bro.”
“Sir, I know what a train is. Please stop.”
“I smoke outside. I don’t care about my lungs but I don’t want to ruin my records.”
“He put on one of the best shows I’ve ever seen—considering how old he is, and that he’s a crack addict.”
“Where’s your jazz section?”
“Over here. What are you looking for?”
“Sheryl Crow.”
“Um…Sheryl Crow isn’t jazz.”
“Well, she’s what I call jazz.”
“You don’t know Led Zeppelin?”
“No, I don’t know too many bands from the olden days.”
“Dude, how do you fall off a beach cruiser?”
“First Burning Man, then Symbiosis, then Earthdance. By the time he gets finished he’s going to have one brain cell left.”
“Well, I do live in a van with six dudes, but other than that everything’s cool.”
“Is this skipping or does it just suck?”
“Which nitwit did this?”
“I don’t know. Let’s line all the nitwits up and question them one by one.”
“I need a basket for my bike that’s big enough to hold a cake, because that’s what I usually carry.”
“I just had a conversation about Citizen Kane with a 13-year-old. My faith in humanity is restored.”
CAT JOHNSON is a writer and music nerd who works in a record store. She blogs about music, art and culture at http://houseofcat.net/.
