Jim Phillips' Slasher-inspired USB Drive lets you store tunes, photos and unfinished novels in style. (Courtesy Action Sports Drives)
Are we over big yet? Have we had enough of supersizing? This could be the year to buck the trend with gifts that are small in size but big on style.
For The Misbehaving Poet in Your Life
Magnetic Poetry Little Box of Whoop Ass ($7.95)
We’re guessing Charles Bukowski was more of a hot-plate and mini-fridge kind of guy than a Kitchen Aid and Sub-Zero kind of guy, so it makes sense that this particular line of refrigerator poetry kits is downsized from the 300-word standard package to 75 cut-to-the-chase slices of plain, potentially offensive English. Also in Little Box of Booze, Little Box of Weed and Little Box of Sin.
For The Covert Government Operative In Your Life
Ravi Ratan Flash Drive Cufflinks ($100)
Sleek silver fasteners keep the cuffs of a fine tailored shirt in line with a tuxedo jacket and important documents just north of those manicured fingertips. There are two gigabytes of storage per link—that’s enough space for 1,000 songs, 400 photos or an undisclosed number of top-secret dossiers.
For The Mad Man In Your Life
Teroforma Whiskey Stones ($20)
Chiseled chunks of Vermont soapstone will lower the temperature without diluting your giftee’s favorite dram. To use: toss the stones in the freezer for a couple hours before the imbibing begins.
For The Digital Thrasher in Your Life
Santa Cruz Skateboard USB Drive ($20-$50)
Thanks to the advent of the USB drive, we can now carry vast amounts of data in our pockets. And the drive’s appeal doesn’t end at its utility. Its sleek profile also has tons of design potential. Case in point: the Santa Cruz Skateboard USB drive by Action Sports Drives. It stores data, provides some hometown representation in the form of designs like Jim Phillips’ Slasher (pictured) and Screaming Hand and is a working fingerboard, providing endless hours of trick-planning and daydreaming.
For The Adventurous Lady Lover
Lyla Vibrator ($125)
These days everything has a remote control—even the hottest vibrators. By tilting or shaking a Lyla vibrator’s remote, the pleasure giver (or receiver) can control the speed and rhythm of this toy’s bed-rocking pulsations. The remote works from more than 35 feet away and also has pre-programmed patterns for multi-taskers or the lazy. This waterproof, rechargeable toy comes in three colors with a warranty to cover a full year that will probably go down in the books as vivacious. Oh, there’s more: the remote vibrates too, for couples that really want to share the love.
For The Compulsively Tidy Tea Enthusiast
R&M International No-Drip Tea Strainer ($4.95)
All finicky tea drinkers know how vexing it can be to lift a tea infuser from a perfectly steeped cup and have no saucer to rest it upon. Tea puddles on a raw tabletop: disgusting! Possibly unsanitary, even! The No-Drip Tea Strainer solves the problem with a built–in drip–catch base. The entire apparatus is affixed to a hook that fits nicely over the side of a mug. Sanity and order at last prevail.
For The Aspiring Spike Jonze
USB Fever Magnetic/Detachable Fisheye Lens ($20)
The Magnetic/Detachable Fisheye Lens, compatible with the iPhone4 or the iPad2, creates photos with curved edges and a 180-degree angle of view, giving images a spherical look—and it’s just plain fun. It’s also a great way to make videos and photos look something like the Beastie Boys might have filmed circa 1992.
For The Caffeine Addict in Your Life
Outdoors Mini Espresso Maker ($19.95)
A glimmer of hope for those who long for the freedom of a weekend out in the wild but are bound to civilization by the headache they get if they miss their morning cup of joe. Small and light enough to throw in a pack, this baby brews up a single shot of espresso in just 90 seconds over a backpacking stove.
For The Eco-Conscious Gadget Addict
Joos Orange Solar Charger ($150)
This whiz-bang contraption converts an hour of full sunlight into three hours of pleasure yakking on the phone. According to the website, it can also keep the iPad rocking, the video camera filming, the night vision goggles skulking and the small medical refrigerator humming—all without tapping into nasty fossil fuels.
For The Crack Addict In Your Life
Black Diamond Camalot C3’s ($59.95)
When shimmying up a sheer rock face merely by cramming fingertips and toes into a crack so small it may as well be invisible, it helps to have a magic life-saving device to jam in and clip a rope through, just in case of a fall. Rock climbers can secure a hold in even the thinnest of cracks with these microcams. Said to fit into more placements than any other camming unit, the only other thing a crack climber could wish for is smaller fingertips (and perhaps some climbing tape). Available in sizes 000 to 2.
For The Downsized Audiophile
Jawbone Jambox Bluetooth Speaker ($200)
By all accounts the best portable wireless speaker on the market, the Jambox comes in four cute colors (red, blue, silver and black) and is roughly the size of a block of Velveeta, according to the wags at Gizmodo. It’s also really, really loud and reportedly very clean, meaning it can anchor a conference call at work, guarantee near–perfect clarity on a phone call in the car and fill the living room with thumping bass at home.
For The Disaster Preparedness Obsessive
Kikkerland Dynamo Solar Radio ($24.95)
Normally we associate emergency radios with clunky, industrial-looking schwag handed out by almost tearfully grateful public radio stations during the pledge drive. Not this beauty! Super green—both literally and figuratively—and measuring a compact 3” x 3”, this stylish solar radio gives users the option of hand-cranking or just chillin’ in the earthquake rubble while the sun’s rays do all the work of recharging the battery, leaving hands free to work on that slingshot standing between you and starvation.
For The Surprise-Loving Toy Collector In Your Life
Kid Robot Blind Box Toys ($5-$20)
Here’s the deal: A run of collectible toy figures is released by Kid Robot with, say, nine different figures. Collectors generally want all of them and casual customers generally want to pick their favorites. It’s a straightforward concept, but this one has a twist. The individual toys are packaged in “blind boxes,” meaning that no one—supposedly even the manufacturer—knows which toy is in which box. While it may sound like a frustrating venture into over-buying, the toys are a huge hit and the packaging is part of the fun.
For the Gamer in Your Life
Video Game Point Card ($20-$60)
A world exists where people trade real money for digitally rendered items such as swords, maps, outfits for avatars, tools, downloadable games and other video game “add-ons.” These items are paid for with video game points. One way to get points is to buy video game point cards. Available in different denominations for PS3, XBOX 360 and Wii, these cards provide an entry point to enhancing one’s gamer profile, skill set, credibility and access to premium content. They can also be used to get movies, T.V. shows and apps but sadly, not girlfriends.
For The Gadget-Savvy Little Kid At Heart
JAWS Shark iPod Cozy ($18)
It’s a scary world out there filled with puddles, dirt and creepy germs trying to cling to our valuable touch screens. Luckily there’s a hand-knit iPod shark cozy to protect 21st century technology and take the edge off it too. Based in Brookesville, Fla., Chris and Yaya have an endearing made-to-order fluffy fish design for those who want to keep their mp3 player safe in the belly of a beast. Their collection is available at http://www.etsy.com/shop/chrisandyaya.
For The Wrap Star In Your Life
Furoshiki by LINK Los Angeles ($50)
A couple of strategically placed twists can turn this striped satin swath of cloth into a bag, a bottle holder, a headband, a scarf and much more. Check out Furoshiki.com for folding diagrams and ideas.
For The Sharp Shooter In Your Life
Fujifilm Instax Mini 7S Instant Film Camera ($58)
The grandchild of the Polaroid spits out credit card-sized prints directly into the palm of your hand, and at 4.8” by 4.7” by 2.5,” fits perfectly in a purse or pocket.
For The Outdoor Adventurer With Back Issues
Uco Micro Candle Lantern ($12.95)
Heading into the backcountry without a pleasant and flattering source of light just because you don’t want to risk permanent back injury? That’s a terrible idea! This wee lantern not only provides light and a little warmth, it packs down to 2.5” tall and a feathery 4.2 ounces. That includes the two tea lights (one in the globe and an extra in the base), which give 3-4 hours of burn time apiece. In bright red, green or turquoise.
For the (Not Too) Cute Couple
Robot Tunes for Two Headphone Splitter ($12.49)
Here’s a gift for the romantic, musically-inclined couple that wants to listen one song at the same time—without blasting it for the world to hear or being one of those obnoxiously cute pairs that actually shares one set of headphones (because let’s be honest: that’s a look we can’t all pull off). This earphone splitter comes with a spring-loaded, robot-shaped keychain easily removable from your set of keys.
For The Indie Sock Fan
Gumball Poodle Socks ($12)
These dual-colored striped socks are ideal for the alternative fashionista. Made in the U.S.A., these warm accessories have vertical block lettering spelling out words like “bimbo,” “whiskey,” “gay,” “zombie,” “meat,” “beer,” “bacon,” “ninja,” “Obama,” “Santa” and “weed.”
For The Environmentally Conscious Commuter
The 16-Ounce Nalgene ($9)
Using a refillable water bottle may reduce plastic waste, but who wants to haul around a quart-sized jug of anything? This smaller version of Nalgene’s most popular bottle may be just the thing to reduce both your gift recipient’s load and his or her environmental impact.
For The Chocolate Snob In Your Life
Scharffen Berger Mini Chocolate Bar ($2.35)
These one-ounce bars from the Berkeley-based chocolatier are just big enough to provide a taste of heaven and perfectly sized for a stocking toe. And as the makers specialize in darker varieties with high cocoa content—up to 82 percent—a taste might be more than enough for us mere mortals to handle. Available individually or in a six-bar sampler.
For the Droid-Loving Nut
Perennial Tea Room Robot Tea Infuser ($9.95)
Kurt S. Adler R2D2 Nutcracker ($25-$45)
For years, robots have been vacuuming pools, monitoring hearts and dropping bombs on other countries. So why not brewing tea or cracking nuts? The stainless steel Robot Tea Infuser doesn't even need batteries: simply load the tiny chest cavity with loose tea and send it for a dip inside a mug of hot water. With adjustable arms that can hold on to any size mug, this whimsical robot is guaranteed to make any kind of drinker a tea-totaler.
And just when you thought that R2D2 was only good for delivering the blueprints to the Death Star, our culture's most beloved droid steals the show from Tchaikovsky's mustachioed soldier with the stodgy outfit and stiff arms. That's right, folks: Star Wars has gone nutcrackers. But don't be fooled by their size—just because these wooden shell-smashers stand only 7 inches tall, they will channel the Force to get at even the most stubborn walnut meat. Also available as Darth Vader (I am your nutcracker) and Yoda (Crack your nuts I will).
For the Wannabe Rapper in Your Life
Tooth Jewels ($20-$200)
Since the dawn of time, humans have bejeweled their appendages, phalanges, nasal septums, ear conches and just about any show-worthy body part. Now it's time to give those long-neglected bicuspids their due attention. Once solely the domain of hip-hop stars, tooth jewels have infiltrated the mainstream market, and with good reason: less invasive than grills, they are affordable, subtle and temporary. No drilling is involved, either—jewels are bonded to the teeth in 20 painless minutes (either by oneself, or more commonly, a dentist). Unlike bulky braces, these tiny gems won't trap errant corn kernels, leave no mark once removed and even encourage better oral hygiene, given all that extra attention to the pearly whites. And hey, the worst that can happen to a tooth jewel—coming loose and being swallowed—results in nothing more than a little bling down the porcelain king.
For the Reborn Athlete
Timex Mid-Size Tracker Watch ($64.95)
It’s the time of the year to start thinking about New Year’s resolutions. Like most folks, I’m choosing a more active lifestyle, planning to spend hours exploring the beautiful parks and trails of Central California and looked for just the right pedometer. Upon discovering the Timex Mid-Size Health Tracker Watch, I knew I had found my personal coach. It’s water resistant, comfortable and built for everyday wear. All I have to do is enter my height, weight, age and gender, and the watch automatically tracks my daily activity including steps, distance and calories burned. I hope Christmas comes early this year.
For the Hungover Bro in Your Life
Black Braun BNC002 Travel Clock ($30)
The other day a friend and I were talking when all of a sudden she said, “Oh no, I have to go. I have to get a nap in before the kid and the hub get home. Would you call me back at 2:30pm to wake me up?” I ended up spending the next two hours hyper-aware of the time, only to have my friend call me right on time to let me know she didn’t need a wake-up call after all.
Needless to say, she will be getting an alarm clock as her holiday gift. I had heard that a current SFMOMA exhibit spotlighted the designs of Dieter Rams. A former Braun designer, Rams’ modernist approach to function and design was exactly what I had in mind: simple to use with clean, classy lines. The winner of my shopping spree was a Black Braun BNC002 Travel Clock ($30). This stylish reissue and rough equivalent to the original 1987 AB1 model will provide anyone with a sure-fire way to awaken whenever needed, no phone call necessary.
