Richard Stockton is going to use his last days on Planet Earth to learn how to fold a fitted sheet. How about you?
It seems like only yesterday the biggest thing we had to worry about was a Gingrich-Palin ticket. Now we’re staring down the barrel of a 50-week march to the end of the world on Dec. 21, 2012, when the Mayan calendar comes to the end of its 5,000-odd-year cycle. Or so they say. It’s kind of depressing when you think about it in a certain light.
But the fact is, 11 1/2 months is still plenty of time to squeeze in some final goals, such as learning a new language, losing those last stubborn 15 pounds or even taking that pottery class you’ve always talked about. To help get the creative juices flowing on your bucket list, we asked some local personalities to share their 2012 end-of-the-world agendas with us—things they want to accomplish, or see someone else accomplish, before it all ends next December.
Richard Stockton
Comedian
Before the world ends on Dec. 21, 2012:
1. I want to make up my mind whether or not breast milk is vegan.
2. I want a Bible typo corrected so the Book of Matthew says that wise men brought the baby Jesus gold, frankincense and myrrh-ajuana.
3. I want ministers of churches to come clean and admit that there is no hell, that they use fear of hell to fill their pews, that they sell “fried souls and fried chicken.”
4. I want to discover how to fold a fitted sheet.
5. I want to pose as an artist model for someone without them calling the cops.
6. I want to publish my book about men/women relationships, called Women Are From Starbucks, Men Are From Hooters: It’s All About The Cup Size.
7. I want to release an album of New Age music that plays backwards and call it New Age Music.
8. I want to see three attorneys standing on the sidewalk in front of Pro Build Lumber as a Mexican in a pickup truck pulls up and says, “I need one lawyer. You with the briefcase, get in the back.”
9. I want to make marijuana mandatory in school.
10. I want to lose brain tissue and get my brain cells down to a number I can manage.
Jory John
Author, cartoonist and co-creator of “Open Letters”
1. Say “yes” more.
2. Say “no” more than I say “yes.”
3. Watch the movie Bucket List.
4. Star in a local adaptation of Bucket List.
5. Write more Bucket Lists.
6. Call my mom.
7. Find my dad.
8. Increase my Facebook usage.
9. Google myself early and often.
10. Pretend to have taken the California Bar Exam.
Clifford Henderson and Dixie Cox
Actors, improvisation teachers, directors of The Fun Institute
Take an Improv class
Laugh as often as you can
Meet the neighbors
Write a thank you letter to your favorite high school teacher
Write your novel
Find a friend you’ve lost touch with
Ponder the universe
Look into as many peoples’ eyes as possible
Make art
Take a spontaneous trip
Plant something, watch it grow
See more sunsets over the ocean
Wear more color
Get a massage
Shop local businesses
Take another Improv class
Margaret Bruce
Vice President, Ecology Action Climate Group
If I knew the end was nigh, and that spending money or needing to earn it was not a concern, I think I would spend the remaining 12 months of existence in a state of wonder and appreciation—as well as the pursuit of physical and intellectual delight.
I would ‘un-stuff’ my life and travel lightly.
I would spend as much time as I could in the company of my close family and friends.
I would spend time with remarkable people—artists, scientists, writers, musicians, inventers, thinkers and leaders of all sorts—from all parts of the world to understand and appreciate human accomplishment.
I would travel to Africa and explore the origins of humanity and would travel to the various “cradles” of civilization—the places with the longest, most complex human histories—and then trace the footsteps of the migration routes taken away from those places by long-ago adventurer ancestors as they spread around the globe.
I would travel in a bathysphere to the deepest part of the ocean.
I would visit the planet’s treasures: volcanoes, glaciers, waterfalls, tropical islands, towering peaks, majestic canyons, wind-swept deserts and ancient forests.
I would seek out people from every walk of life and experience every local cuisine, music and art form that I could.
I would sing and laugh, be unabashedly ridiculous, dance and find love.
Bruce Bratton
Journalist, film critic, raconteur, man about town
Well, there's a trip to Paris…never been there. Loved London, Venice, Davenport, Budapest, Berlin and Aromas but not Paris, not yet.
How about Santa Cruz re-naming the LONDON Nelson Community Center?
Or re-naming Cabrilho College (after Joao Rodrigues Cabrilho).
Outlawing Girl Scouts from selling their annual junk food…maybe just healthy products or just give them the money instead?
