Metalachi

What began as an innocent evening of snorting horse tranquilizers with seven members of the village jai alai team in a Super Ocho motor lodge in Veracruz, Mexico became an event that literally gave birth to the greatest metal band to ever live. For it was on that hot summer night in 1982 that Consuela Espinoza stumbled out of her dilapidated shanty and fell face-first into rock-n-roll history.



Nine months later, unhampered by Consuela's steady regime of tequila and ill-advised sumo lessons, five bastard children were born. Unable to care for her hungry offspring -- and concerned that five children would seriously interfere with her Tuesday night karaoke league -- Consuela made a decision that would forever alter the course of music history. Consuela hastily packed the babies into the saddlebags of a burro and sent her children off to American in search of a better life. 14 years later and nearly dead from dehydration, the emaciated burro knelt down to drink from the stagnant waters of the Rio Grande just outside of Juarez, Mexico -- mere yards from the U.S. border. With one fleeting burst of energy, the Brothers Espinoza Cinco climbed from their leather restraints and scampered the vast reach of the river, collapsing onto the sweet, amber-hued American soil. As if by destiny, lodged in the sand beneath their tanned faces was a square cardboard record sleeve upon which were the holy metal words "PARANOID" and "BLACK SABBATH." For many years to follow, this definitive black metal album served not only as a teacher and mentor... but also as a friend. It was these bleak and humble beginnings that nurtured the seed that would eventually grow to be the band we know today. Often referred to as the greatest heavy metal band to ever live...