Vanessa Lucas keeps the suds a-flowing at Parish Publick House. Photo by Chip Scheuer.
Best Free Comedy
Thursday Nights at Blue Lagoon
People drive from all over the Bay Area to perform for five minutes at this seedy formerly gay bar during the two-hour slot before 80s dance night. And thereís so much to love. Itís hard to tell whoís more enjoyable to watchóthe hilarious performers who normally headline larger venues… or the awkward ones who spend two thirds of the set talking about whatís on their mind or the time their college girlfriend walked in on them masturbating. The show promises a healthy balance of cringe moments and belly laughs. (JP)
8-10pm Thursdays. 923 Pacific Ave, Santa Cruz. 831.722.2299
Best Olde-Timey Barkeep
Marv at The Jury Room
Armed only with unassailable panache and a healthy dose of moustache wax, Marv (sine cognomen) has been serving up stiff drinks to the delinquents and lowlifes who frequent this notorious dive for over 30 years. Tip well and he’ll always be ready with a smile and light for your cigarette, but beware: as the master-at-arms of Wednesday’s all-day Happy Hour ($2.50 well drinks!), he knows how to carry himself when people get too rowdy and won’t hesitate to throw you out on your drunk ass. (JG)
712 Ocean St, Santa Cruz. 831.426.7120
Best Guy-Watching Brew Pub
Santa Cruz Mountain Brewing
Sure, the IPA is smooth and the Devout Stout is dark and earthy, but who knew that this rustic pit-stop for organic beer buffs would provide the best guy-watching in town? Bicyclists in their tight tights, tanned surfers with tousled hair, grad student raconteurs debating Heidegger, growers fresh from the fields and still a bit, you know, dirty—it’s a gold mine for those who can’t get enough of 100 percent red-blooded masculinity. And the beer’s also fine. (CW)
402 Ingalls St, Santa Cruz 831.429.1855
Best Sports Gastropub
The Parish Publick House offers 30 varieties of beer. Note: That’s not 30 beers; that’s 30 different stylesof beer—fromAmerican Amber/Red Ale to Belgian Pale Ale to Saison, Tripel and Witbier. And the beer selection is only one of the coolest things about this Westside establishment, which also serves excellent pub grub (we like the salmon fish ‘n’ chips). Best thing: If the Giants or Sharks are playing, there will be plenty of good folks at the Parish flying the black-and-orange or teal. (AG)
841 Almar Ave, Santa Cruz. 831.421.0507
Best Trivia Night
Poet & Patriot
The brainiest of the brainiacs match wits at this favorite local pub every Sunday night. Incorrigible MC Thomas Todd writes all of his own material every week to the delight (or, more likely, dismay) of a loyal group of triviaphiles, while bartender Larry Blood keeps the beer flowing to the delight of just about everyone. With three pitchers up for grabs, it’s no wonder people keep flocking to the Poet every week. So come down, you might just get lucky, and if you don’t you still get to enjoy one of the best pubs Santa Cruz has to offer. (JG)
320 Cedar St., Santa Cruz. 831.426.8620
Best Use of A Tacky Tiki Cup
Dr. Funk at Hula’s
Long before “fancy cocktail” meant artisanal bitters and biodynamic fruit infusions handcrafted by virgins, there were tropical drinks. Coconut, pineapple and rum were the basic building blocks of these party starters, while little umbrellas and tall ceramic tiki cups ensured that everyone in the fern bar knew exactly what kind of evening you were priming yourself for. The high-octane Dr. Funk at Hula’s proudly carries on that venerable tradition with the potent taste of the islands in an awesomely kitschy Fu Manchu delivery system. (TH)
221 Cathcart St, Santa Cruz. 831.426.4852
—Alex Gilrane, Juan Guzman, Traci Hukill, Jacob Pierce and Christina Waters
